The Kids Speak Out

Kids and Anger

How do you effectively handle an out-of-control angry kid?  I thought R. Varahharajan wrote a grest article on this subject and is our guest author. 

What is anger? Anger is another form of emotion or feeling experienced by children and adults alike. It ranges from rage to the milder forms of resentment. It's needed with parents to know anger management techniques for children. The children use outbursts of anger for attracting attention to obtaining a desired goal. Interference with feelings or activities of the children may arouse a form of behavior as anger-usually aggressive in nature- expressed by screams, kicks, stamps, sulks, or cries. The temper tantrum represents a display of emotional behavior for the purpose of gaining favour. In an aggressive child, it takes the form of striking, tearing, kicking, and holding the breath.

Unless the child is helped with anger management skills to gain emotional control he is likely to continue the tantrum technique perhaps throughout the entire life. If a child "throws a tantrum" before learned to talk, the parents should understand that the child is actually suffering and needs their help. As a child learns to vocalize and to use language he begins to express anger in less aggressively physical ways, but he may continue his acts of disobedience and physical resistance.

When a little girl is very angry she is likely to say to her mother" I don't like you." To avoid such critical situation, a good knowledge of anger management techniques of children plays a main role for compromise. Causes of anger problems: It is usually caused by infusion of frustration or major depressive disorder. Infant: Physical restraint like tight clothing Child: Toilet training and food taking compulsion

Tips to dealing with anger management: There is no need for separate anger management program. To think of anger control by anger medication is foolish.

1.Needless commands or derogatory remarks that arouse anger should not be dangled before the child. Such words are felt by children as ill treating of their endevours to achieving the goal. It may lead to depression anxiety anger and delusion which are not good for health.

2.Denying for everything should be avoided by the parents. Instead, alternatives may be given. It's quite natural that the children may have anxiety of knowing about and owning new things for them to enjoy. In such occasions, the parents should not deny totally but satisfy them with substitutes

3.Preventing or minimizing the provocations is one of the best ways to deal with anger. Some behaviors may be annoying to the parents as destructive to their welfare. Such behaviors alone can't be accounted for preventing and irritating every activity of the children.

4.Talking with them about their feelings is another of the best of anger management tools to teach the children about how to control their feelings. It would be compromising and consoling to the children if the parents share with their feelings good or bad. The child should be given appropriate anger management help to express their anger in appropriate words as let out technique.

5.The parents should be a model of anger management for kids in controlling and keeping off unnecessary situations to arouse anger as a main concern. Molding the children positively onto their way of expectation is an art to execute by being an example to follow. It's safe to bring up your children as blossoming buds and with desirable habits and you as parents should know the anger management techniques of your children and related matters.

5 Ways to Teach Kids to Set 2009 Goals

One of the most valuable exercise we adults can do is to teach kids to set goals and work to achieve goals.  Kids see this as a game, so to speak, and enjoy creating their goals. 

1)    Start kids about the age of 7 and above.  Kids younger than 7 should not be bothered with setting goals - let them play and be creative.  When kids start to school and learn about meeting homework deadlines; discipline getting up in morning and getting themselves ready for school before the bus comes, etc is a good time to start teaching about goals and deadlines.  They understand better because they experience some "routine" scheduling.

2)    Make a list of things kids are involved with; such as:  playing the piano; getting on honor roll at school; keeping their room clean;  being involved in sport activities; attending to their healthy bodies, etc.  It is important to only set goals for a 12 month length of time.  Don't go into the 3-5-10 year goal setting.  I even find that hard for me to figure out and achieve.

3)  Make goals reasonable for their age group.  A friendly reminder:  this is NOT your goals for your kids - this is their goals for themselves.  Try not to infuence too much.  Let it be simple and achieveable.

4) Write the goals down and tape them to their bathroom mirror.  For the younger kids, decorate with pictures/scrapbook things to make the goal setting attractive to them.  When they achieve one of their goals, be sure to celebrate with them. 

5) Ask them how they are doing to achieve their goals during the year.  You are to be their personal coach and ask them throughout the year "how are you doing on your goals?"  If they need to adjust one of their goals, let them do so.  Try your best to keep them from being discouraged. 

It is a gift you can give to your kids and teaching them a valuable lesson for their future life. 

Happy Holidays

  The Kids Speak Out sends our love and our appreciate to you and your families.  Happy Holdays!  If you are traveling - be safe.  We are looking forward to 2009 and planning out the new year in serving you and the kids of the world.   All of us may not celebrate Christmas; however, we all celebrate the beginning of a new year - so Happy New Year.  

Teenage Entrepreneurship

Teenagers have the foresight to see into the future and understand that having their own businesses is the key to their higher education and a prosperous future.

The Millennials (today's young people) are increasingly turning to entrepreneurship as both a way to earn money and a lifestyle. In addition to making money, entrepreneurs in their teens and 20's are insisting that they make their mark on society as well. This movement is becoming known as "Social Entrepreneurship."

Teens with a drive to be successful are now laying the groundwork for becoming very successful later in life.

Our teenagers are our best hope for the future. It's time to empower them and give them the tools necessary to succeed in our tumultuous world.

And, if your grades aren't the best, having a successful business may give you an edge to make the cut. It's much more impressive to say that you ran a business than it is to say you worked at J.Crew.

So, why would colleges care if you've run a business?

It shows that you have the creativity, leadership skills and vision to be successful in many facets of your life.

You've balanced school and work before. You've had some "real world" experiences that will allow you to add to the classroom environment.

Also, having a successful business makes you interesting. More and more colleges are adding Entrepreneurship programs and colleges hope that students with entrepreneurial experience will enhance all students' experience.

Are you ready for your baby to be an entrepreneur? It's a big jump for many parents. As your child grows into an adult, he or she will require greater independence. You can help your teen start his or her business in a number of ways.

Find out how teenagers worldwide have become successful in business. http://www.teenpreneur.khuebook.com

Mute the TV for the kids

Have you noticed if you "mute" the television the kids continue to watch the television?  I heard from a friend that her 5 year old son's favorite movie is in Spanish.  No one in her family speaks Spanish ever!  Her question is "is that weird?"  Of course not!  Kids watch the action of the program, not necessarily the verbal content. During homework time, we "mute" the television while my grandson does his homework and he is still sneaking a look at the television, even without the sound.

This relates to how kids learn from adults.  They watch us - not necessarily listen to what we say.  We can verbally go on and on relating to an issue and the kids have learned to "mute" us out; however, they watch our body language as we speak and comprehends more than we will ever know. The famous quote: "Actions speak louder than words" certainly remains true throughout the years.

Genetically testing Kids/sports greatness

Wall Street Journal. December 3rd, 9:15 am by San Francisco reporter Jim Carlton. 

"Parents' obsession over their kids' athetic skills never seem to end.  The latest case in point:  A report about a kit that tests kids to see if they have a certain gene that some say predicts sports greatness.  The goal: to help determine which sport a child is most likely to excel at."

Gag me with a spoon..or a cheek swab.  What a great idea it would be to test the adults to determine if they are genetically capable of being a great parent.  Can you imagine the pressure that would be applied to a kid if they were tested for a sport greatness and all efforts in life went toward directing the future of this kid?  I am in complete disagreement with a kid being tested for any greatness in life...let them discover and determine this on their own.  What do you think about this?

Kids Having A Bad Day

American Idol contestant Danial Powter wrote and sang a popular song titled "So You Are Having a Bad Day".  As adults we know perfectly well what having a bad day is and we have developed ways of dragging us out of that hopeless feeling.  How about Kids?" 

This particular song was playing over the radio in the car and I noticed a kid was tearing up.  "What's going on?" I asked.  He said, "every time I hear that song it makes me cry".  This kid went through a terrible year of being bullied excessively in the 2nd grade at school by the other boys and he had experienced many bad days.  How he kept going I will never understand.  How do kids drag themselves out of that hopeless feeling? 

The boy was quizzed further:  "Who can help you get out of a bad day?"  He said "NO ONE!"  "How do you pull yourself out of having a bad day?"  He said "I CAN'T!".

My last question was: "So what do you do and what can help you make a bad day a good day?"  He said....."

"Only a dog can make me have a good day and to make a bad day go away.  A dog is always happy to see me, he jumps on me, he plays with me and he kisses me - he makes me feel good and he makes me laugh - always?"  My final question:  "Why can't adults make you feel this way and make your bad day go away?"  He said, "because God gave a dog a different heart and brain than an adult has and he loves me no matter what happens!" 

Don't ever underestimate the difference a pet can make in the life of a child!.  Give your kid a good day and make sure the kid has a pet that make a bad day go to a good day.

Homework Tips-Getting Students to Complete Homework

School is out for the summer!  A lot of students and parents are relieved because the struggle of getting homework completed is over.  I was impressed when I read Adam Waxler's article on an effective tool for increasing the kids chances of getting their homework done.  So parents here is an opportunity to consider what Adam is suggesting and make the necessary chances to encourage your kid to get homework completed for the up-coming year.

Adam Waxler makes the following recommendations to parents on helping kids with their homework by creating a homework environment.

"Homework, if used correctly, can be quite an effective tool for increasing student achievement.

Unfortunately, as many teachers know, getting students to complete homework can be a frustrating task to say the least.

Teachers try all sorts of strategies to help students complete homework.  We have them write the homework in their planners/agendas, we get them started on the homework in class to clear up any confusion, we post the homework on websites and/or blogs etc.

Unfortunately, despite our best efforts, when it comes to checking/collecting homework the next day we see the same old thing…many students simply do not do the homework, or they don’t complete the homework.

Usually, at this point, teachers start assigning detention, making phone calls home etc.

However, one homework strategy that is often overlooked is getting parents involved with your homework policy from the beginning. No, I don’t mean just letting them know the percentage of the grade and the consequences for incomplete homework, but rather what the parents can do to help their child complete the homework.

Here’s a list of some homework strategies that teachers can share with their students’ parents:

1. Set up a consistent place for homework to be done. Homework should be done in the same place every night – not on the couch one night, at the dinner table the next, and the bedroom the following night.

2. Organize your homework spot to maximize efficiency.  Have a box with everything your child might need to complete any given homework assignment…pencils, erasers, glue, scissors, markers, paper etc.  This will greatly reduce homework procrastination.

3. Help your child establish a consistent schedule for completing homework.  Depending on the child’s after school schedule, it may not be possible to do the homework at the same time every night.  Therefore, it may be wise to sit down Sunday night each week and create the homework schedule for the upcoming week.

4. Do not sit with your child and do the homework together.  The purpose of the homework is for your child to practice what he or she has learned in class.  If your child cannot do the homework by herself then you need to contact the teacher.

5. After your child completes the homework, discuss it…What did he or she learn from the homework? What steps were easy? Difficult?

6. Your child should spend roughly 10 minutes per grade level on homework. For example, a 2nd  grader should spend 20 minutes on homework while an 8th grader should spend 80 minutes.  Again, if your child continues to consistently spend more time than this on homework make sure to contact your child’s teacher.

Many parents are just not aware of the best way to help their child complete the homework. By providing a list of helpful homework tips for parents, teachers will see an increase in homework completion and therefore, an increase in academic achievement."

Are you still having problems getting your students to complete homework? To gain an arsenal of effective homework strategies make sure to read... "eTeach: A Teacher Resource for Learning the Strategies of Master Teachers" @ [http://www.teachingteacher.com/]http://www.TeachingTeacher.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Adam_Waxler http://EzineArticles.com/?Homework-Tips---Getting-Students-to-Complete-Homework&id=821228

Kids: "Builders" or "Destroyers"

Do you recognize if you are raising your kid(s) to be our future "builders" or "destroyers"?  Kids give off clues what they are developing into by their actions, opinions and their thoughts - is anyone really listening?  I don't mean just the parents - how about you grandparents, aunts, uncles, clergy and teachers - are you listening for the clues?

In the movie "South Pacific" there is a song titled "You've Got To Be Taught". Kids are taught (or not taught) to be a builder or a destroyer.  I do not mean that we adults set out to teach our kids the "builder/destroyer" concept.  It happens when their "normal" behavior methods (and all kids have them) of getting angry, yelling, being a bully, saying cruel things to each other and their parents, etc.  It happens when their "normal" behavior methods, that the kids learn so well to use are performaned and we adults say, "Oh, it's their age - they will outgrow it."

Most of the kids do "outgrow" it; however, only after it has been point out to them that this is unacceptable behavior.  If it is not corrected when they start performing thse "normal" behavior methods, chances are they will never outgrow them and could grow up to be a  "destroyer" instead of a builder" - and you did hear me say "could"?  Kids are too unpredictable and could figure out on their own, after a while, what is acceptable behavior and what is not.

Bedroom and Sleep Check List for Kids

Nine Things You Don't Know About Your Children's Bedroom
                               By Carole Fogarty

If your children have trouble sleeping, restless nights, wake up feeling tired, complain of aches and pains, foggy thinking, generally feel unwell or constantly ill then the solution to any of these ailments could quite well be found lurking somewhere in your son or daughters bedroom.

After teaching and consulting for more than a decade in Holistic Feng Shui it soon became obvious to me that many children were sleeping in an environment that over stimulated their minds and stressed their immune and nervous systems.

If your children's bodies are unable to rest, repair and rejuvenate themselves whilst sleeping then their overall health and well being is greatly compromised.

What is on the other side of your children's bed head wall?

Perhaps the most disturbing observation for me during my consultation and teaching years were children who were diagnosed with serious illnesses. In too many cases to be a coincidence many of these young children had been sleeping for years against the wall which on the other side located the power box for the entire home.

Twenty years of scientific research:

There are many case studies documenting over the past two decades strong links between children's illness, fatigue symptoms and foggy thinking due to over exposure of high levels of electromagnetic frequency (EMF); an unnatural field which is emitted from all things electrical.

Is there 100% proof no! Is there strong evidence to suggest the artificial man made electrical currents emitted from electrical things are dangerous to our health and well being particularly young children. Absolutely!

I'll now share with you my first hand experience of the nine most common reasons your child may not be sleeping, wakes feeling tired or complaining of aches and pains:

1. A bedroom is not a multi purposed room:

Your child's bedroom is a place where they can safely escape from the bombardment of information and external stimuli being constantly thrown at them. It is a place where they can withdraw from the outside world chill out, let go and relax. It is their private sanctuary and possibly the only place where they can rest, repair and rejuvenate their body, mind and soul. I believe it's very important to get clear with the exact purpose you have for children's bedrooms. The only purpose I have for my children's bedrooms are for sleep and quiet and peaceful activities. It is not an exercise room, storage room, computer room or even work or study room.

2. Never sleep against a wall which is charged with electrical currents:

It's important to notice what is on the other side of the wall in which your child's head is sleeping against. I would strongly advise moving the bed if their head is against a wall which on the other side has anything electrical e.g clothes dryer, air conditioning or heating unit, TV, power box etc.

3. Fluorescent or halogen lighting emit the highest radiation currents:

I have used for many years an instrument called a cell sensor which reads the amount of electromagnetic radiation (EMR) coming from anything electrical. From my personal experience fluorescent lighting emits a strong field of high radiation.

I personally would not have any long fluorescent lighting tubes near where my children sleep, play or study. I know of many people who get headaches if they sit anywhere near fluorescent lighting and others who often just feel a general tightness around the head area. Fluorescent lighting also contains mercury which is a harmful and highly toxic heavy metal. Broken fluorescent light bulbs are particularly hazardous to our environment. So even though fluorescent lighting may be energy efficient it definitely has some health issues with the mercury and high levels of electromagnetic radiation.

4. Overdose of electrical appliances within arms reach of head:

Close exposure for long periods of time can greatly interfere with our body's health. Remove everything electrical in and around your child's head from their bed side table and whatever cords you have going under their bed. This includes electric clocks, phone chargers, ipod speakers, CD player. My children have nothing at all electrical beside their bed. If they need a light then give them a torch. If they need a clock use a battery operated one. There is also the constant mental stimulation attached to many bed side electrical appliances which can greatly affect the mental activity of a sensitive child during the night.

5. Electrical overload in the bedroom:

The more electrical appliances within four walls the greater the build up of static electricity and positive ions (its negative ions you want like the natural ones created at the ocean or after a storm). Many children these days are sleeping in a room full of electrical pollution. All electrical things which are left turned on at the wall 24 hours a day send a continuous stream of radiation into the room even when not in use not to mention the cost in wasted electricity. Keeping the door locked assists in the toxic build up. Good air flow, windows and doors kept open help flush out that static and positive ion build up. Reminding your children to ground themselves often is very beneficial to balancing out the effects of electrical pollution. If you are uncertain of how to get grounded you are welcome to read my article called Get grounded or get pushed around by life.

If your children must have anything electrical in their room then teach them to turn it off at the wall at night and keep it well away from the bed head.

6. Sharp pointed corner aimed at their body:

This is an interesting observation from Feng Shui masters and their 3,000 of observations. If unseen energy rushes directly at you it can create imbalances in your personal energy fields, a type of restlessness or unsettling feeling occurs.

Sharp pointed corners from wardrobes, wall corners, cupboards, bedside tables etc cause energy to rush in line with the direction they are aimed at. The rushing energy literally pierces your auric field and eventually enters your physical body resulting in aches, pains or stiffness. The further away from the sharp pointed corner the less impact it has.

If you are sensitive to energy often by just holding the palm of your hand near the sharp pointed corner will allow you to feel a hot sensation in the palm of your hand. Headaches are often caused by a sharp pointed corners aimed directly at your head at close range for long periods of time.

Bedside tables with sharp pointed corners should either be below the mattress height thereby missing the body, covered or turned away from the body. Smooth rounded edges for bed side tables are the preferred option.

7. Remove yang stimulating images and items:

Yang is the day time, sun, bright, action, movement, busy and stimulating. A little energizing and stimulation at night is OK but too much will keep the mind in an active, forever thinking over analyzing yang state during the entire evening when it really needs to be in a calm yin mode.

When the mind is in a yin state you can totally withdraw from the world around you, let go, relax and unwind from the events of the day.

If your child or children are sensitive and prone to getting overly excited or having an over active mind then the visual images around them while they sleep my be adding to that stimulation. Peaceful calm soothing images that promote harmony are best for a bedroom. Trial and error may be needed to finding out exactly what object or item is causing the problem.

Possible yang stimulating items:

It is well known that colours have a direct influence over the emotional state of the human body. Red is stimulating along with most bright colours so you may wish to get a sense of how the colours in the bedroom are effecting your child.

The pattern or image on the Doona or bed covers can be extremely stimulating as they are very "up close and personal" with your child during the entire night. There's certainly no action hero's on any bedding covers in our household. I don't need 3 boys dreaming about fighting all night.

Computers and game consoles can definitely keep your children's mind in yang mode and prevent them from chilling out. If they must be kept in the bedroom then at least cover them or pack them out of sight.

Pay close attention to the pictures, posters and images on the walls. Is there anything on the wall which would cause your son or daughters to over think or get excited which is preventing them from unwinding and relaxing?

A room full of trophies can sometimes put a constant stress on a child's nervous system as their mind is never taking a break from their sports. Even a pile of homework in eyes view can stress a child. Make sure any homework is packed away at night so there is no constant visual reminder.

Mirrors reflect light and energy and therefore have a yang stimulating effect in a bedroom. The main culprit I've seen over the years are built in robes which are covered in mirrors . This means that virtually one whole of a the bedroom is mirrors. I've seen many people cover the mirrors with posters or simply hanging a sarong over it at night to calm the energy down more in the bedroom.

8. Sleeping on a metal bed:

Metal is a conduit for electricity and can pick up currents. I have seen too many times over the years metal beds which I have been unable to take a stable compass reading as the current is so strong it just spins the compass needle.

If the metal bed happens to pick up an electrical current due to the overload of electrical appliances in the room or simply one electrical item close to the bed then this situation can greatly compromise a healthy immune and nervous system.

It's important to note that there is nothing wrong with metal beds only when they come into close contact with lots of electrical items.

Metal springs in mattress can also be a conduit for electrical currents. You can now however buy mattresses which still have coils that neutralize the electromagnetic fields. Latex mattresses are the preferred health option. I'm looking forward to the day I can afford to buy the whole family latex mattresses.

9. Over cramped, over filled and over cluttered:

You can't breathe properly your thinking is foggy, confused and disorganized. You feel constantly tired, lethargic and drained all the time and it's all because you are being zapped by the overload of stuff around you.

Now let's be clear here I am not saying daily mess is clutter. I love my home to look like it's being lived in but I am talking here about stuff there never gets put away, is unused, unwanted, broken, outgrown and unloved.

The simpler looking the room, the lighter and less stressful it feels, the healthier its energy and greater rest and stillness it offers your child.

Do you have any electrical free zones in your home:

It's important to observe where your children are spending long periods of time and how many electrical items are around them when they do. You may be surprised to find there are not too many spaces in your home when they are not exposed to the frequencies being emitted from your electrical stuff.

Imagine if we could create a room in your home where your children could play, read, study and eat in an electrical free zone.

For further resources and  how to remove radiation from your body you are welcome to visit my blog.

Carole's blog The Healthy Living Lounge offers regular weekly articles on:

detox and de-stress

natural wisdoms

comfort on the go. http://www.thehealthylivinglounge.com