The Kids Speak Out

Kids: "Builders" or "Destroyers"

Do you recognize if you are raising your kid(s) to be our future "builders" or "destroyers"?  Kids give off clues what they are developing into by their actions, opinions and their thoughts - is anyone really listening?  I don't mean just the parents - how about you grandparents, aunts, uncles, clergy and teachers - are you listening for the clues?

In the movie "South Pacific" there is a song titled "You've Got To Be Taught". Kids are taught (or not taught) to be a builder or a destroyer.  I do not mean that we adults set out to teach our kids the "builder/destroyer" concept.  It happens when their "normal" behavior methods (and all kids have them) of getting angry, yelling, being a bully, saying cruel things to each other and their parents, etc.  It happens when their "normal" behavior methods, that the kids learn so well to use are performaned and we adults say, "Oh, it's their age - they will outgrow it."

Most of the kids do "outgrow" it; however, only after it has been point out to them that this is unacceptable behavior.  If it is not corrected when they start performing thse "normal" behavior methods, chances are they will never outgrow them and could grow up to be a  "destroyer" instead of a builder" - and you did hear me say "could"?  Kids are too unpredictable and could figure out on their own, after a while, what is acceptable behavior and what is not.

Bedroom and Sleep Check List for Kids

Nine Things You Don't Know About Your Children's Bedroom
                               By Carole Fogarty

If your children have trouble sleeping, restless nights, wake up feeling tired, complain of aches and pains, foggy thinking, generally feel unwell or constantly ill then the solution to any of these ailments could quite well be found lurking somewhere in your son or daughters bedroom.

After teaching and consulting for more than a decade in Holistic Feng Shui it soon became obvious to me that many children were sleeping in an environment that over stimulated their minds and stressed their immune and nervous systems.

If your children's bodies are unable to rest, repair and rejuvenate themselves whilst sleeping then their overall health and well being is greatly compromised.

What is on the other side of your children's bed head wall?

Perhaps the most disturbing observation for me during my consultation and teaching years were children who were diagnosed with serious illnesses. In too many cases to be a coincidence many of these young children had been sleeping for years against the wall which on the other side located the power box for the entire home.

Twenty years of scientific research:

There are many case studies documenting over the past two decades strong links between children's illness, fatigue symptoms and foggy thinking due to over exposure of high levels of electromagnetic frequency (EMF); an unnatural field which is emitted from all things electrical.

Is there 100% proof no! Is there strong evidence to suggest the artificial man made electrical currents emitted from electrical things are dangerous to our health and well being particularly young children. Absolutely!

I'll now share with you my first hand experience of the nine most common reasons your child may not be sleeping, wakes feeling tired or complaining of aches and pains:

1. A bedroom is not a multi purposed room:

Your child's bedroom is a place where they can safely escape from the bombardment of information and external stimuli being constantly thrown at them. It is a place where they can withdraw from the outside world chill out, let go and relax. It is their private sanctuary and possibly the only place where they can rest, repair and rejuvenate their body, mind and soul. I believe it's very important to get clear with the exact purpose you have for children's bedrooms. The only purpose I have for my children's bedrooms are for sleep and quiet and peaceful activities. It is not an exercise room, storage room, computer room or even work or study room.

2. Never sleep against a wall which is charged with electrical currents:

It's important to notice what is on the other side of the wall in which your child's head is sleeping against. I would strongly advise moving the bed if their head is against a wall which on the other side has anything electrical e.g clothes dryer, air conditioning or heating unit, TV, power box etc.

3. Fluorescent or halogen lighting emit the highest radiation currents:

I have used for many years an instrument called a cell sensor which reads the amount of electromagnetic radiation (EMR) coming from anything electrical. From my personal experience fluorescent lighting emits a strong field of high radiation.

I personally would not have any long fluorescent lighting tubes near where my children sleep, play or study. I know of many people who get headaches if they sit anywhere near fluorescent lighting and others who often just feel a general tightness around the head area. Fluorescent lighting also contains mercury which is a harmful and highly toxic heavy metal. Broken fluorescent light bulbs are particularly hazardous to our environment. So even though fluorescent lighting may be energy efficient it definitely has some health issues with the mercury and high levels of electromagnetic radiation.

4. Overdose of electrical appliances within arms reach of head:

Close exposure for long periods of time can greatly interfere with our body's health. Remove everything electrical in and around your child's head from their bed side table and whatever cords you have going under their bed. This includes electric clocks, phone chargers, ipod speakers, CD player. My children have nothing at all electrical beside their bed. If they need a light then give them a torch. If they need a clock use a battery operated one. There is also the constant mental stimulation attached to many bed side electrical appliances which can greatly affect the mental activity of a sensitive child during the night.

5. Electrical overload in the bedroom:

The more electrical appliances within four walls the greater the build up of static electricity and positive ions (its negative ions you want like the natural ones created at the ocean or after a storm). Many children these days are sleeping in a room full of electrical pollution. All electrical things which are left turned on at the wall 24 hours a day send a continuous stream of radiation into the room even when not in use not to mention the cost in wasted electricity. Keeping the door locked assists in the toxic build up. Good air flow, windows and doors kept open help flush out that static and positive ion build up. Reminding your children to ground themselves often is very beneficial to balancing out the effects of electrical pollution. If you are uncertain of how to get grounded you are welcome to read my article called Get grounded or get pushed around by life.

If your children must have anything electrical in their room then teach them to turn it off at the wall at night and keep it well away from the bed head.

6. Sharp pointed corner aimed at their body:

This is an interesting observation from Feng Shui masters and their 3,000 of observations. If unseen energy rushes directly at you it can create imbalances in your personal energy fields, a type of restlessness or unsettling feeling occurs.

Sharp pointed corners from wardrobes, wall corners, cupboards, bedside tables etc cause energy to rush in line with the direction they are aimed at. The rushing energy literally pierces your auric field and eventually enters your physical body resulting in aches, pains or stiffness. The further away from the sharp pointed corner the less impact it has.

If you are sensitive to energy often by just holding the palm of your hand near the sharp pointed corner will allow you to feel a hot sensation in the palm of your hand. Headaches are often caused by a sharp pointed corners aimed directly at your head at close range for long periods of time.

Bedside tables with sharp pointed corners should either be below the mattress height thereby missing the body, covered or turned away from the body. Smooth rounded edges for bed side tables are the preferred option.

7. Remove yang stimulating images and items:

Yang is the day time, sun, bright, action, movement, busy and stimulating. A little energizing and stimulation at night is OK but too much will keep the mind in an active, forever thinking over analyzing yang state during the entire evening when it really needs to be in a calm yin mode.

When the mind is in a yin state you can totally withdraw from the world around you, let go, relax and unwind from the events of the day.

If your child or children are sensitive and prone to getting overly excited or having an over active mind then the visual images around them while they sleep my be adding to that stimulation. Peaceful calm soothing images that promote harmony are best for a bedroom. Trial and error may be needed to finding out exactly what object or item is causing the problem.

Possible yang stimulating items:

It is well known that colours have a direct influence over the emotional state of the human body. Red is stimulating along with most bright colours so you may wish to get a sense of how the colours in the bedroom are effecting your child.

The pattern or image on the Doona or bed covers can be extremely stimulating as they are very "up close and personal" with your child during the entire night. There's certainly no action hero's on any bedding covers in our household. I don't need 3 boys dreaming about fighting all night.

Computers and game consoles can definitely keep your children's mind in yang mode and prevent them from chilling out. If they must be kept in the bedroom then at least cover them or pack them out of sight.

Pay close attention to the pictures, posters and images on the walls. Is there anything on the wall which would cause your son or daughters to over think or get excited which is preventing them from unwinding and relaxing?

A room full of trophies can sometimes put a constant stress on a child's nervous system as their mind is never taking a break from their sports. Even a pile of homework in eyes view can stress a child. Make sure any homework is packed away at night so there is no constant visual reminder.

Mirrors reflect light and energy and therefore have a yang stimulating effect in a bedroom. The main culprit I've seen over the years are built in robes which are covered in mirrors . This means that virtually one whole of a the bedroom is mirrors. I've seen many people cover the mirrors with posters or simply hanging a sarong over it at night to calm the energy down more in the bedroom.

8. Sleeping on a metal bed:

Metal is a conduit for electricity and can pick up currents. I have seen too many times over the years metal beds which I have been unable to take a stable compass reading as the current is so strong it just spins the compass needle.

If the metal bed happens to pick up an electrical current due to the overload of electrical appliances in the room or simply one electrical item close to the bed then this situation can greatly compromise a healthy immune and nervous system.

It's important to note that there is nothing wrong with metal beds only when they come into close contact with lots of electrical items.

Metal springs in mattress can also be a conduit for electrical currents. You can now however buy mattresses which still have coils that neutralize the electromagnetic fields. Latex mattresses are the preferred health option. I'm looking forward to the day I can afford to buy the whole family latex mattresses.

9. Over cramped, over filled and over cluttered:

You can't breathe properly your thinking is foggy, confused and disorganized. You feel constantly tired, lethargic and drained all the time and it's all because you are being zapped by the overload of stuff around you.

Now let's be clear here I am not saying daily mess is clutter. I love my home to look like it's being lived in but I am talking here about stuff there never gets put away, is unused, unwanted, broken, outgrown and unloved.

The simpler looking the room, the lighter and less stressful it feels, the healthier its energy and greater rest and stillness it offers your child.

Do you have any electrical free zones in your home:

It's important to observe where your children are spending long periods of time and how many electrical items are around them when they do. You may be surprised to find there are not too many spaces in your home when they are not exposed to the frequencies being emitted from your electrical stuff.

Imagine if we could create a room in your home where your children could play, read, study and eat in an electrical free zone.

For further resources and  how to remove radiation from your body you are welcome to visit my blog.

Carole's blog The Healthy Living Lounge offers regular weekly articles on:

detox and de-stress

natural wisdoms

comfort on the go. http://www.thehealthylivinglounge.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Carole_Fogarty http://EzineArticles.com/?Nine-Things-You-Dont-Know-About-Your-Childrens-Bedroom&id=839548

Tweens and the Osmonds

I remember when my daughter was a tween her bedroom was covered with posters of Marie Osmond and once in a while brother, Donny.  What a clean and wholesome image they protrayed to tweens.  With their own television show, the siblings even fussed at each other showing that was normal. 

Sarah, one of our fans at The Kids Speak Out, left a comment that I completely agree with.  She stated that Hilary Duff, an idol to Tweens, have kept herself clean, wholesome and protraying an image to young people saying "it's OK to be good".  However, as Sarah pointed out, Hilary is not as marketable as some of the other idols who get into trouble and slowing destroying their lives right in front of our Tweens. 

As parents there is a strong need for you to watch the Tween Idols to make sure your Tween is being exposed to the type of idols that will ensure that "it's OK to be good".

Tweens and Their Idols

Miley Cyrus/Hannah Montana is going to be interviewed by Barbara Waters after the Academy Show tonight.  I was trying to compose questions I would like to ask Miley if I had the opportunity.  Most everyday questions you would ask Tweens would certainly not apply..such as:  "Where do you see yourself in five years?  What are your career goals and your personal goals?"  An appropriate question may be.."how are you going to protect yourself from being brought down by the media and how have you assured that you will be making good decisions for your life?"

Watch the interview tonight and let's see what questions Barbara Waters ask Miley.  I'm wondering if her dad, Billy Ray Cyrus, will be present during the interview???  Let's watch together.

3 Ways to Make Sure That Your Kids Continue to Choose Good Music and Movies

Music plays a very important role in a kid's life.  From cradle to the grave our lives are effected by all kinds of music.  When I hear music from the 50's,  I can sing all of the words and dance the "swing" "jigger bug" and all those famous old moves.  Kids are making their memories through music so they can recall their childhood when they hear a Hannah Montana song.  When they are middle age and put the High School Musical in the DVD they will be able to sing every song and dance the dances.  Kids love to dance and sing all of the songs--just to have good, clean fun.   I believe it makes high school appealing to the Tweens because it sits the stage of fun, trust and experiences that will stay with them all of their lives.  Believe it or not these productions are not just a movie being released--oh no!

Of course, there is the selling of DVD's, posters, T-shirts and all kinds of merchandise that produces well over $100 million enterprise.

I will be writing about Hannah Montana, and her dad, in another article.  Their success is unbelievable.  In talking with kids, their comments on the side is "I sure hope she doesn't mess up her life".  Kids want a good, clean model to sing with and dance with and so far Miley Cyrus playing Hannah Montana provides this to our kids.

Let me give parents a few ideas on encouraging kids to continue to pick out good, clean, happy models.

1)  When your kids dance and sing to the High School Musical or a song from Hannah Montana, get off the couch and join them--make it fun!

2) Purchase the DVD immediately and T-Shirts, etc. to let them know that you think Hannah and High School Musicial is great as well.

3)  Pray these role models, that our kids have selected, do not "mess up their lives".  If they do, be prepared to talk with your kids about it.

STOP BULLYING ME!!!

One of my passions is to help parents recognize if their kid is bullying other kids and or siblings.  It is a huge problem and I believe the school systems are failing to stop kids bullying kids.  I know I was talking to the program of the YMCA after school program about bullying.  Her comment was interesting:  "if we hear anyone bullying another kid, we talk to the parents and the kid is taken out of our program".  Now, I know you can't do this with the school acadmic program; however, there needs to be harsh circumstances if a kid is bullying another kid.  I'll be writing more about this whole topic and I'm very concerned about cyberbullying. 

The article below was written by Billy Simms who devotes his time to speak to parents and kids about bullying in the school system.  He list the top 10 bully excuses.  Enjoy reading.

Top 10 Bully Excuses
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Billy_Simms]Billy Simms

1)       I was only teasing.

This is the classic excuse that most bullies will use when they are accused of verbal abuse. Teasing usually happens between friends. Verbal abuse happens to weaker students who are unable to stand up for themselves. If you know that the two students who are involved in the incident are not friends, you can be sure that it was not just teasing. Also, teasing becomes bullying when it happens often and over a period of time.

2) I didn't mean to hurt him.

Bullies will almost always try to downplay their actions. Most of the time, their intent is to emotionally hurt or physically cause pain to their victims. Acting like they didn't mean to do it or trying to comfort the victim once they have been caught are ploys that bullies like to incorporate.

3)  He pushed me first.

Between two students of the same size and social stature, maybe that could occur. But, between the captain of the football team and the student who is hardly noticed on campus, it's doubtful. It's highly unlikely that a smaller, weaker student will push or try to intimidate someone who is bigger.

4) His face flew into my fist.

Well, problem solved. Kids will actually say this and expect us to believe them.

5) He tripped and fell by himself.

Many students trip and fall every day at school. But, if you have a student complaining that another student is tripping them or pushing them down, then it's probably happening. A question that educators can ask themselves is this: How many times a day/week are students reporting that this behavior is taking place? If the behavior is being reported more than a few times a week, the alleged bully is probably guilty.

6) Someone pushed me into him.

Blaming others is what bullies do so well. Bullies at the elementary level love to push their classmates when they are in line. Since elementary students are in line a lot, this happens quite often. Acting like someone pushed them into another student will be the first excuse that bullies will use if they are accused of pushing another student. Put the bully at the front or the back of the line and keep a close eye on them.

7) She thought I was talking about her, but I wasn't.

Relational bullying among girls is a huge problem. Manipulating friendships and spreading rumors are how girls generally bully each other. This is somewhat of a comical excuse because if the alleged bully denies saying anything, it will be quite easy to find ten or more girls who will admit that the bully did say something.

8) They deserve to be bullied because they are ugly, fat, don't wear the right clothes, etc.

No one deserves to be bullied. Period. Bullies will try to justify their actions by blaming the victim. This is similar to racial discrimination.

9)   Everyone bullies.

No, they don't. Only a small percentage of students are bullies. Bullies will say this to try and place the blame on others. Their attitude is that if others are doing it, then it's okay.

10) I didn't do anything.

This may be the easiest thing for students to say when they know they are in trouble. When a student says, "I didn't do anything," it almost always means, "I'm guilty." The phrase I didn't do anything has become such a part of children's vocabulary, it almost automatically comes out of their mouths when they are accused of something.

For more tips and information about bullying I invite you to visit http://www.BillySimmsSpeaks.com

From Billy Simms-Your Trusted Bully Advisor

Want Bullying To Go Away? Don't Delay, Call Billy Today

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Billy_Simms http://EzineArticles.com/?Top-10-Bully-Excuses&id=856987

Listen Up The Kids Are Talking

In the fifth series on Listen Up The Kids Are Talking we are going to explore the no-brainer of talking about kids when the kids can hear us.  The kids feel very strongly about this.  Read on.

We talk to our friends and relatives about our kids.  We need to talk to other adults about our kids because it helps!  We get the kids in bed or they are playing quietly and you get in a conversation about the behavior of your kid; I can assure you that one of their ears is listening to what you are saying.  It feels to a kid like it feels to an adult when we hear other people talking behind our backs.  It does not feel good.  Some of the kids have told me that her parents thinks she is asleep and she can hear every word they are saying.  It makes kids sad and insecure.

My grandson said to me one day, "If my parents tell you anything I do wrong - just throw up your hands over your ears and say, "I don't want to hear about it!"  He was trying to protect his reputation with grandma of being a really cool, cute kid.

My point is you have to talk to other adults/spouse about your kids--just make sure they are outside playing or at school so they can not hear you.  They will trust you more.

Listen Up The Kids Are Talking

Our fourth series in Listen Up The Kids Are Talking is about kids' self esteem.  By complimenting a kid you will build self esteem.  The one thing that I have noticed in interviewing kids is their lack of self esteem.

They are insecure little people who need reassurance most days that they are OK.  The "professionals" say don't give too much praise when kids are growing up because they will expect it when the grow up and it is not there.  Do you like praise and compliments?  Of course you do and so do I.  Do we receive much praise and compliments - well, I find them scarce in my life.

Tweens, ages 8-12, do not have much reason to have self esteem when you think about them.  They  have their teeth falling out and growing new ones; they have pimples; they have scars, cuts and boo-boos and do not quite know what to do with their hair.  They can look in the mirror and see that the girls do not look at Hanna Montana and the boys do not look like one of those cute guys.  Physically, it is not a pleasant stage in their life to go through and self esteem is low.  Surveys have determined that the Tweens, because of their low self esteem are attracted to materialistic "stuff"....bright shining objects.  To take the attention off of themselves they pressure their parents, and grandparents, into buying them the latest cell phone, IPod, laptop computers, Wii, XBox and clothes/shoes. 

Why not make a kid feel good and give them a compliment or praise them in something special that they achieve.  By the way, don't make up phony praises - a kid can mark a phony ten miles out.  I don't think they will be spoiled and who knows you may even help them build their self-esteem.  And, as an adult find another adult and give them a compliment - it will make you happy and will make them happy. 

Listen Up The Kids Are Talking

If you ask parents if they enjoy dishing out discipline to their kids, the answer will always be "no" they do not enjoy it.  After all it makes them feel bad and of course it makes the kid feel bad.  You may be surprised at the attitude of some kids toward discipline..keep reading.

When you have to discipline your kid they want to know and understand what they are doing wrong that caused them to be punished.  And as a parent, I am sure you think your kid understands what they did wrong and you don't need to explain it to them....wrong.  Most kids have short term memory and most of the time do not even remember what they did to get your negative reaction.  A yelling match and a spanking on the bottom without a "lesson to be learned" is nothing more than abuse.

The kids think it is the parent's responsibiilty to explain to the kid why they are being disciplined.  I'm not stupid - I am sure the kids will argue that your explanation is stupid and they should not of been punished.  However, if you ask kids (when they are calm and detached from punishment) they will tell you they want to know why did their parents react the way they did by punishing them. 

Kids want to know their boundaries.  When they overstep their boundaries and get disciplined, without a clear understanding as to why, the lesson is not learned and their unacceptable behavior will reoccur.  Kids said they don't mind being disciplined as long as they know the "why".  It just shows respect.

Listen Up The Kids Are Talking

We are continuing our series on Showing Respect to Kids.  The last post was on kids loving to talk.

Kids want their parents to show them courtesy and respect by saying  "thank you" when they do something nice for you and "please" if you want something from them.  In teaching 2-3-4 year old, parents are very discipline in teaching the toddlers to say "thank you" and "please".  It is an important lesson to be taught and an important lesson to be learned.  However, that all seems to drop somewhere in grade school.  Parents are saying "do it because I am your parent and I say so" - not many "will you please do this for me".  The "thank you" seems to disappear as well.  Members of a family think things should be done for them without saying "thank you" if someone does something nice for them.

So parents throw your kids a curve by saying "thank you" and "please" when they deserve it....it may confuse them and wouldn't that be fun?  Being nice to each other in a family is just another way of showing respect.

Our next post will be on disciplining your kid - believe it or not sometimes kids sees this as a sign of respect.